Jerry Phillips' Revelation
And I Jerry was delivered into a deep pink cloud. Through the immaculate pinkness of this cloud I heard the voices of ten thousand Mr. Ed's saying: " Glory! Glory! Glory! Thy pinkness is worthy of all worship! We will kneel before thy horn and forever sing thy praises! Only thou can lead us to the one source of lifesavers."
Suddenly I was standing before the golden tinted pink stall of his One Hornness. His One Hornness said to me, I have selected you for my messenger. Listen closely for it will be your responsibility to deliver my rules to your people in cyber space. I fell speechless before his hugeness. I fell asleep and time passed...
His One Hornness told me of a future with computers weeping and wailing. I fell before the stall in full prostration. What can I do? He said spread my pinkness. I am spreading his pinkness to all the world. My special calling is to create a prison ministry to deliver those behind bars. I will set them pink. Glory.
Jerry Phillips firstname.lastname@example.org
Although everything in Jerry's vision is absolutely true and must be accepted without question by the faithful, one minor aspect of his interpretation of the vision is in error: He mistakenly assumed that the IPU is male.
We know She's female because, ... well, the High Priestess says so. And, er, ... Oh! Because all the visions of all the other prophets have been of a Unicorn whose divine character is the very essence of Femininity. In particular, Saint Angee Dyer always referred to the Galloping Goddess as female, and she's a veterinarian with sufficient personal equine contact to settle the matter.
Let me stress again that, although Jerry and all the other prophets are divinely inspired, sometimes the Goddess does not dictate the exact words of a revelation, choosing instead to allow the human vessels to express their visions in their own way. This adds character and human interest to the scriptures without detracting in any way from the Truth of the Message.
-- Rich Daniel, Most High Llama of the IPU.